Mean Women in Business

Mean Women in Business
by Ellen Elwell

As a lifelong marketing professional who has worked for or with  Fortune 1000 businesses and brands, I have met so many people all over the U.S. Most are terrific. A few are horrible. And the horrible ones always get to me - especially the women.

I started working for IBM as soon as I finished my grad work. I was 23, married and soon to be a mom. They sent me to their training schools on and off for a year...and this education has been a blessing through my life. They taught me how to develop presentations and give them...how to demonstrate their equipment to advantage. . . and how to help customers appreciate and use it. They taught me their motto: "Respect for the individual."

Every week we were rated in 26 training areas - 1 being the top and 5 the bottom. We even got ratings in "groom" ( how you put yourself together for business). To get promoted (down the road), I needed a 2 overall average. The scores go with you - everywhere.

I was always afraid of doing things wrong and getting fired. The ratings became my obsession. And whenever I got criticism, I literally trembled. Luckily, things turned out fine. And I owe my many years of "1" ratings to women who took me under their wing at training...and also the women with whom I worked every day. We were like a family even though we were in different cities. And we networked and helped one another a lot.

When I started my own marketing agency, I hired mostly women - about 95%. I trained my key women managers...and they trained the people they managed. Again, I enjoyed the aura of the sisterhood. Until I got a big portfolio of clients - big companies and brands like Frito-Lay, Ralston, Beech-nut Baby Food, Clorox, Anheuser-Busch, American Express and many more. So the entire picture gradually changed.

In the agency business, account people take constant verbal whippings from clients - especially the agency head (me!). It's just the way it is and you get used to it. The client pays a lot of money for a non-tangible, intellectual and creative property; and many resent it. I call it "kicking the cat." They're frustrated with other things in life and they transfer the feelings to people who can't fight back. Unfortunately, the cat becomes wary and careful to keep a distance.

My mother and father had their own business - restaurants. I started working in them when I was 12. My parents taught me to smile at customers all the time. My mom used to say, "Smile until your face cracks." If you've ever been a waitress, you know that smiling can sometimes be difficult. But you do it!

In my own business, it hurts me most when the mean-spirited person is a woman.

The pattern is pretty consistent: she barely acknowledges people and looks down at her iPad, makes notes and ignores the people around her. When she speaks, she's short and direct and doesn't mind being insulting. She has "attitude" because she's certain she's smarter than anyone else in the room. And maybe she is. But being smart and powerful isn't everything.

Why do I expect more of women than men? Maybe it's because I have enjoyed so many relationships with great women who help one another. I will do almost anything for the "GOG" (Good Old Girl) network and vice versa. So don't mean women "get" it? What do they gain by being mean. You never know...the cat may be in a position to bite back one day!

Comments are so welcome. Have you had this experience? Let's talk!

iPhone: Friend or Foe?

by Ellen Elwell
Readers of this blog know that I’m a major proponent of new technology and social media – with the exception of Facebook, of course. (See archived articles.) But when it comes to actual equipment purchases, I tend to be very thrifty. And when I do invest, I expect to get a lot - for a long time.

My reasons for not getting an iPhone (the “cons”).
I never considered anything other than an iPhone as my “smart” phone choice. However, I had lots of reasons for stalling – for years!

• It’s expensive. No matter how you look at it, any smart phone is a very costly front-end and long-term investment! So my question was: Is there a significant Return on Investment (ROI)?
• I’m not a “phone” person. I don’t make or get lots of calls, so why spend so much on a phone?
• It’s difficult and time-consuming to learn. If a whole shelf at Barnes & Noble is dedicated to “how to” iPhone books, it’s pretty obvious that learning how to use it will take some time, right?

Why I finally did get an iPhone.
Ultimately, I decided to take the plunge – mostly because I’m in marketing and “mobile marketing” is growing in importance. Also, I lost my “regular” cell phone and the timing was theoretically right. And finally, I felt pressured to do it since just about everyone I know has one (the “what am I missing” principle). I promised myself, though, that if I only used the phone – not the other features and functions – I’d cancel the monthly charges and take a penalty.

After nearly a year. . .
Looking at the "cons" above, they remain the same for me. First, there's no doubt about it: the iPhone is costly. Second, I don't use it much as a phone. However, I now consider the “phone” part a very minor part of the iPhone’s value. Instead, I love its photo capabilities, twitter and email convenience, being able to save music and audio books in the “cloud” – and then access them from the many other “synced” iDevices in our household. (I’ll do another blog on the free “family sharing” capabilities iPhone offers.)

Finally, because I’m very slow, learning has been a nightmare – even worse than I expected. There is nothing “intuitive” about the device beyond placing phone calls and texting. Until I finally figured out how to connect and manipulate the iPhone through my computer and iTunes, my frustration level was indescribable. Tip: Never ever forget your iTunes password or type it in wrong because recovery is so painful!

. . . I love it!
Despite the pain, I’m happy I got and have my iPhone! Every single day, I gain more respect and passion for this powerful little engine. It provides so many unexpected, life-enhancing features (especially apps) that I’ll do a follow-up blog(s) about them. They fall into several categories: convenience, money-saving, entertainment and safety.

Summary: Investment vs. Value
I do believe that the iPhone can be worth the cost. But to be so, it cannot be viewed simply as a phone or a game/toy. Uncovering its real “assets” takes time (and more time) – which can be an even bigger investment than money. Further, learning is never-ending because software upgrades add more function (almost daily!).

As for actual “return on investment,” I’m uncertain. I’m still looking for ways that iPhone usage can actually generate business referrals or sales dollars. Now that I know how to use it, however, I’ll continue to puzzle this important piece of the equation!

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Learning Apple is like having a baby!

Okay. So I'm a late adaptor of iPhone.

But it's only because I had to be "ready" to commit time to do it right. By myself. Without anyone standing over me and making me nervous. Sad to say, I am a s-l-o-w learner.


My history with technology is a sad story.
You'd never know that IBM recruited me when I finished school. I'm a great marketeer in my genetics, like my father. I write and I sell. Everything else is frills.


IBM almost didn't hire me because they tested my "machine logic" at "ZERO." That's the exact word they used. Who knew about this machine skill? But they were pretty matter-of-fact when they told me about it.


So we're looking at a machine company deciding whether to hire a hopeless non-techie to sell and market their products (me). Luckily, IBM took the plunge and we made great music for 10 years - until I started my own agency. In fact, they were my first client. Gotta love that company!


And it never got better.
Sadly, however, their "machine logic" test proved to be true. Whenever it's time for me to learn new software, equipment or even an app, I'm in misery. Without machine logic, I have to try and try and learn a little bit at a time. I make 8 mistakes to reach every small success. I quit a learning session when I get a headache and my neck says to leave it alone.


Especially in the world of "i."
The biggest challenge has been getting my iPhone, iPad and computer "synced" in the iCloud and iTunes and getting all the stuff working together. And, if you can believe it, I actually bought a scary-small iPod nano last week (don't ask!). So now I have three iDevices - plus a Kindle and Kindle Fire. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland falling down an endless rabbit hole into a land of strangeness.


The biggest joy was when I taught myself to transfer iPhone pics to my computer, then send "good" pics to Dropbox and Photobucket and then to Shutterfly for prints which I got back in the mail. I know I'd better practice that because I'm already wondering how I even did it. Maybe it was an accidental alignment of the stars like the Big Bang!


Laughs and tears aside, I am really proud of myself. And getting onboard with the world of "i" is like having a baby: the pain is awesome...but the results are worth it! 


Did I mention that I LOVE Apple?

The Family Photo Project (Unending!)

About 5 years ago, I was the beneficiary of lots of boxes of family pictures. When I added my own photos, the result was - literally - thousands of photos spanning 6 generations. And thus began my obsession: I would make a true "family story" and keep it under 150 pictures. Looking back, I would take back that decision - in a flash.

Step #1 - Sitting at the kitchen with boxes
Visualize a rainy Spring afternoon  in my kitchen, by the window, rain outside, with mountains of mixed up photos (some strangers!) around me. My husband, J. is in Tax and lives at the office from February through April. Our daughter, M, is away at school. So it's my pup, Harry, and me. As usual.



Step #2 - Fast forward two years
The pictures have been separated into Trash and Keepers. When I look at the hundreds of photos remaining, I decide to hide them in a dark closet again. It's overwhelming.

Step #3 - End of year three
My husband, J, found the boxes and offered to help. We spent a whole day sorting them by person. I bought a few cute storage boxes at TJ Maxx and put them on my home office book shelves. It beats the dark closet but they are daily reminders of my dithering and procrastination. Sigh.

Step #4 - Envelopes!
So now I have about 400 pics as "finalists" in labeled envelopes. Wow! I fool myself into thinking that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the idea of finding a logical sequence is overwhelming. Once again, the boxes go back on the bookshelf (now in the envelopes).

Step #5 - Help from Groupon!
One day, I see an offer from BritePix.com. They'll make a great CD (digital) "book" from the pictures I send them. I sign up and pay for their service - so the project is finally "real." Only one problem: my arm won't reach out for the boxes of envelopes. Did I mention that I have come to hate this project?

Step #6 - End of May, 2012
I've sequenced and numbered all the pics I've chosen (about 150) and made divider pages to identify the separation of Generations. Can it be true that I'm ready?


I pack the pics very carefully and seal the container. Hubby takes it to UPS and it's gone. Gone. I'm panic-stricken as I see my little babies go out the door (some are 100 years old and can't be replaced).

Step #7 - Mid-June, 2012
The CD (with 12 copies for various family) and original pictures are back from BritePix. They've been very sweet and checked on lots of little things. But I'm afraid to open the box. No kidding. What it if's in the sequence? What if I've made mistakes? So I let it sit.

Step #7 - July 7, 2012
Happy Birthday to me! I finally open the box and slip the disc in the computer. It's a slide show. It's magnificent. Thank you so much BritePix. I show the CD to J and M - they love it. I send it to the relatives.

Step #8 - Now.
My aunt and uncle don't know how to open the CD and they live far away (Chicago and Florida).I am holding a knife to my throat, thinking about slitting it. Getting nearly 150 pics on a DVD made into an album is super-difficult and expensive. . It's not easy. In fact, I'm stuck again!!  

This is my Unending project. And my nightmare. Ideas anyone? I can't stand another year of it. I wish I could pay someone to figure it all out.

So the moral of the story is: run away from photo projects. All of them. What good can come of them?  

For now,
Ellen

Who would want to read my posts?

There are literally millions of blogs. And there are so many good ones - especially written by Moms. So what are unique things that I could offer readers? Other moms are "supermoms" who can juggle anything and everything. Many have mega-patience - especially homeschoolers!( I can't even imagine that level of dedication and smarts.) I pale in comparison.

My claim to fame (so to speak) is that I started a marketing/promotion business from a card table at home...then grew it into a business having major name-brand clients on all four coasts. I increased my billings from $30,000/year to $9 million/year (and had the overhead to show it with offices in 3 cities). Note: "billings" are a long way from "profit" - gross or otherwise. Still, it was formidable.

And then I sold it for a lot less than I could have if I'd waited. But I was seriously depressed (the super-sick kind) and finally, miserable. "Success" does not help most things. But I never worked for success - just income. Luckily, I had my wonderful husband and daughter for moral and mental support and survived with the help of a great psychiatrist.

Today I feel great. I kept a very few clients for myself and love them (and their work). I get to do all the things I wanted to do when I started the business - with no employees (vs. 25). But that's another subject.

As many as my talents may be or have been, I still have no unique things to say. The millions of bloggers ahead of me have said it all.

So that's why I call this my own little "cyberspace." It's not even a pinprick in the tapestry of blogs out there. But it's mine, right? Gotta love it! In the end, it doesn't matter whether people read my posts or not since I want no ads, rewards or admiration.

And that's as good as it gets.

Soaking in the true joy of Summer!

Are you a "Summer" or "Winter" person?


This is kind of a frivolous topic for a blog, I know. But I can't help but wallow in the joy that summer gives me. Even though I'm fully aware that (misguided) others prefer cold weather.


I grew up where it was very cold (Indiana) with most of my family nearby in Chicago. In both places, it got cold. Very cold. And stayed cold. A long time. Until the lilacs, dogwoods, peonies and greens of Spring finally came along to give me hope. For summer. No more boots, heavy coats, heavy pants, scarves, caps and sweaters. It was like losing 10 pounds overnight!


Of course, I always hoped that Autumn or "Fall" would never come. It always did. Leaves, pumpkins and cider are great in Indiana. But the dread (winter!) was too heavy to enjoy them.


So where did I go away to school? Michigan. Ann Arbor to be specific. Can you even believe it?My father was a big Big 10 person and that was that. So try to find a warm-weather school in the Big 10. How about Minnesota?


 I met my husband, John, at Michigan (which I did and do adore - Go Blue!). I call him my Knight in Shining Armor since he took me away to Dallas. Here, it's about 8 months of Summer.


And right now, as I look out through the green trees and landscape of my back yard, I feel nothing but gratitude. It's time to go out and water, trim and weed. It's a tiny price to pay for Paradise, right?


Happy weekend, everyone!


Ellen


p.s., Watch for my Crabtree & Evelyn Gardening Treats giveaway on Monday. It'll be right here!